Staying in the Holiday Spirit

The end of the year holiday time can be exiting and joyous, or saddening and lonely. How you experience the holidays is completely up to you. Really! Whether you feel sad or happy, lonely or connected, is completely up to you.

Your thoughts, your activities, and the kind of situations you put yourself into, generate your feelings. In other words, you do not have to experience sad or unhappy holiday feelings, unless you want to. If you want to change or heighten how you feel, simply do more or less of the thing that is generating your feelings.

What makes you feel most sad during the holidays? What makes you feel most disconnected, and out of touch with the spirit of the holidays?

Right now, make a quick list of the activities, or lack thereof, that are making you sad or unhappy about the holidays. Do something different about 2 of these, right now.

Here are some ideas of attitude altering activities to help you stay in (or get into) the holiday spirit:

  • Doesn’t feel like holidays at your house? Put up lights! Decorate in a holiday motif. Play holiday music and light candles.
  • Don’t have plans for Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, etc.? Volunteer, helping those in need. Call up friends, and see what they are doing. Create a small get together.
  • Aren’t looking forward to seeing family? Take interest in each person, as you speak to them, in a much deeper way than ever before. You will change the energy of the interaction and enjoy them, for a change.
  • Exhausted from cooking and running around? Take an hour, 1/2 hour or even 15 minutes all to yourself. Don’t do chores, errands, clean up, etc. Don’t do anything you have to do, even if you feel guilty. Do what ever YOU like.
  • Don’t have plans for New Years? Make some now–whether a show, a play, a get together with friends. Or, designate New Years eve as the time to look back over the past year and dream up the next year.
  • Feel down or disconnected? Do something for someone else– volunteer, donate money, contribute or serve in some way. Get involved in group activities.
  • Feel a lack of spiritual connection to the holidays? Go back to your roots in some way–go to church, light candles, pray, do a gratitude list, meditate, etc.
  • Not having fun? Play and be creative. Even if you don’t feel like it, even if you think it’s silly, even if you don’t have time or don’t want to bother–do something childlike. Even better, play with a child. You will find it deeply satisfying.
  • Wishing you were in a relationship? Or, wishing your relationship was better? Do a grand scale gratitude list for what you do have, and what is working in your life. It won’t fix the relationship situation, but it will fix your attitude.

Put yourself in the holiday spirit now and have a great holiday!

Your Relationship Coach, Rinatta Paries
This article was originally published by Coach Rinatta Paries in The Relationship Coach Newsletter, a weekly e-zine for people who want fulfilling relationship. For singles, the newsletter will help you attract your Mr. or Ms. Right. If you’re in a relationship, you will learn to create more closeness and intimacy with your mate. To subscribe, go to

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