Whether you are in a relationship or single, rarely will Valentine’s Day pass by without your notice. If you are single and even if you think the day has no significance, on Valentine’s Day you will think about and want a relationship more than usual. If you are in a relationship and Valentine’s Day does not get celebrated, it will leave hurt and resentment in its wake.
Valentine’s Day is a great opportunity to focus on love. Think of Valentine’s Day as “Focus-on-Love Day,” as opposed to “Hurt- About-Lack-of-Love Day” or “Ignore-Being-Single Day” or “Unhappy Day.” Below you will find ways to make your “Focus-on-Love Day” extraordinarily romantic, whether you are single or in a relationship.
1. The Perfect Day
Couples: See if you can start to notice what your lover dreams about, wishes for. Listen for small, doable things that can make a big difference. Alternatively, subtly question your lover about what he/she pictures as the perfect Valentine’s Day. Now take the information you have gathered and make it into a perfect day for him or her.
Singles: If you had a partner, what would you have them do to create your perfect Valentine’s Day? Create it for yourself. Love yourself that much.
2. The Perfect Card + One Perfect Rose
Couples: Buy or make a lovely card and then fill it to the brim with words of love, admiration and appreciation. When I say fill it to the brim, I mean leave no white space untouched. Present it with one perfect rose.
Singles: Buy or make a lovely card for yourself, and just as above, fill it to the brim with words you want to hear from your future lover. Seal the envelope, so that you can open it on Valentine’s Day. Present it to yourself with one perfect rose.
3. Treat Valentine’s Day as a Lover’s Day and not as a Woman’s Day
Couples: Ladies, I have it on good authority that guys want to be celebrated too. So, get him flowers and candy and a card, too.
Singles: Guys, give yourself that same wonderful Valentine’s Day as a relationship partner would give you. You may feel silly, but you will also feel good.
4. Say Goodbye to Obligation; Say Hello to Open Heart
Couples: Don’t give or do anything out of obligation this Valentine’s Day. Give only from your heart, from love and treasuring your partner. No matter how good or bad your relationship is going, get in touch with how much you truly love and appreciate your partner. Give from that space.
Singles: Don’t beat yourself up for not having a partner yet. You have not failed. You are not bad. Valentine’s Day can be “Focus-on-Love-for-Yourself Day” as well as “Focus-on-Love-for- Another Day.”
5. The Gift of Undivided Attention
Couples: Give your partner the gift of undivided attention and see if she or he doesn’t find that the most romantic thing going.
Singles: Give yourself the gift of your own undivided attention. Take away all of the distractions and be with yourself the way you would want your partner to be with you.
6. Gift of Communication, I
Couples: Men, allow your woman to talk about whatever her heart desires, and listen without fixing at all. Ladies, let your man talk or answer your question without finishing his sentences for him, interrupting him, or moving on to the next topic. See if this doesn’t make sparks fly.
Singles: Either find a person who will listen to you the way you need to be heard, or give yourself space and time to listen to your own thoughts and feelings or to journal.
7. Gift of Communication, II
Couples: Ladies, give your man the gift of sitting down next to him in silence. No talking allowed. Men, give your lady the gift of talking and sharing from your heart. No closing down, walling- up or running away allowed.
Singles: Either silence or open heart–give yourself whichever one you need.
8. A Gift with Interest
Couples: Is your partner into computers, and you don’t know a mouse from a monitor? Or is she into gardening, but to you a rose is just a rose? Give your partner the gift of your interest in something that is important to him or her. Go ahead, ask him or her a question about it and see the smile light up his or her face.
Singles: Give yourself the gift of time to pursue your important interest. Take the time to do something that nourishes you and makes you happy.
9. The Trust
Couples: Ladies, give the man in your life the gift of trusting him to know how and when to take care of himself and you. Trust that he will do the best he can for Valentine’s Day. Gentlemen, hold her trust sacred, and learn to listen for subtle requests. Then honor them. The celebration of love will feel good to both of you.
Singles: Today, trust your process and your fate. Today, trust that you too will be loved and cherished by a partner. Today, remember all the people who already love and cherish you.
10. A Shower of Words
Couples: Write your loved one a love letter or poem and read it to them on Valentine’s Day. Here come the tears.
Singles: Write yourself a love letter or poem, exactly the way you would want it written by a lover. Read it to yourself out loud and have Kleenex ready.
Plan to have a happy Valentine’s Day!
This article was originally published by Coach Rinatta Paries in *The Relationship Coach Newsletter*, a weekly e-zine for people who want fulfilling relationships. For singles, the newsletter will help you attract your Mr. or Ms. Right. If you’re in a relationship, you will learn to create more closeness and intimacy with your mate. To subscribe, go to http://www.WhatItTakes.com